Old People and The Atonement

I have to go to the basement of our apartment building to do my laundry. Of course, if I wanted I could take my laundry to some sketchy laundromat where even I might get raped, just as a matter of principle. Each time I decline that opportunity and go for the former option.
Well, on my way down to the "Laundry Lair", I saw an unhealthy Christmas cactus sitting out in the hall. You have to understand that mostly elderly folk live in this complex- and I know an elderly person owns this cactus. The segments were wilting, and it's not necessarily easy to kill one of these. It's a slow process, indicating a vicious sort of neglect. Poignant neglect. Nigh unforgiveable, I'd wager.
I felt bad for the cactus, and decided to help it live on. I am very fond of cactii; I think they are fantastic plants. I currently have some sort of Christmas cactus growing in the apartment whose starting segments came from a plant our family has had since the late 19th century. So.... I took some of the wilting pieces and planted them in a pot on our windowsill. The edges have a different shape than the one I have from my family.
I think it's amazing that you can just cut parts of certain plants off, and have them create a whole, new, complete plant. Hopefully I can save this one... because as you know-

I like cactii.

We just saw The Atonement. We really liked it. Visually, it's beautiful. An excellent juxtaposition of chaos/destructive forces and absolute beauty. Bits are morally questionable from a Christian perspective, but the humanity is undeniable and beautiful. It makes your heart ache and the air explode inside your lungs, so don't see it if you have a condition... or if you like any of the American Pie movies. It didn't have a cliche ending, which we liked. A wonderful meloncholly beautiful even though everything goes wrong film. A romantic drama set in a real turbulent world.

A Conversation with the Child Dictator

This is a real conversation I had with someone today.
The roles are myself (Mr. S) and the Child Dictator (C.D.) (5-6 years old)

Previous to this point- C.D. treated another person unfairly and suffered the consequences. Simmering after having been blatantly punished, he begins verbal jousting with Mr. S...

C.D.- Mr. S, you need to apologize.

Mr. S.- Oh really? What for?

C.D.- You should have let me play the xylophone.

Mr. S.- You made some bad choices, and you weren't able to play the xylophone today. Make better choices next time and you will.

C.D.- I'm the strongest world leader...

Mr. S.- What?

C.D.- You should let me play the xylophone because I'm the strongest world leader and I have anger powers. Say you're sorry.

Mr. S.- (pause for comprehension... attempt abandoned)... nope!

C.D.- (consternation) You made "___________" cry. You say you're sorry.

Mr. S.- He also made some bad choices today. You were both punished. Get in line and deal with it.

A few minutes later their schedules would separate them, but as C.D. departed he offered this gem;

C.D.- God is King of the Earth!


You know, I think I was disagreeing with him up until that last point; I think we found some common ground. I can only look forward to the next time that I, Master of the Air People, might work on an alliance with the "Strongest World Leader". His anger powers would certainly be a boon to our forces in the war we desperately wage against the H'Ruuhm Shahhkz.

Until then, Child Dictator.

Heath Ledger? Come ONNNNNN.....

Come on.
I'm not a huge Heath Ledger fan. I haven't seen every movie that he's been in. I liked "10 Things I Hate About You", "Knight's Tale", I saw "The Brothers Grimm", and I've been looking forward to the next Batman. And now... he has become the classic hollywood tragedy, by whatever cause.

When celebrities die, we don't always know what to feel; these people have no idea who we are, but we were born and raised in this media culture. They become a familiar part of our lives... a distant digital family.
There are the celebrity "family" members who you expect to go at anytime, due to their own stupidity. This would apply to skanky celebrity skin puppets (I.E. Anna Nicole Smith). Then there are regular celebrities.... and then there is Heath Ledger.
Regardless of the fact that I haven't seen ALL or even MOST of his movies, I would like to mention a few things that seemed to stand out to me- things that make it harder for me to live in a world without a Heath Ledger.

-Heath Ledger seemed to be a private, quiet individual. Who had any problems with Heath Ledger? Nobody. From the way he seemed to act, I have respect for Heath Ledger.

-Heath Ledger was Australian. How cool is that?! (This cool factor diminishes once you move to Australia- unless you are an Australian celebrity)

-Heath seemed to pick projects that he wanted to work on. He didn't just go for "man candy" roles that his initial stardom might have trapped him in.

-Heath Ledger had excellent bone structure.

-His name was Heath Ledger. Heath? Isn't that candy? Awesome.

-He got to play the Joker- my personal favorite supervillain of all time.

- He got to work with that Shannyn Sossamon regularly. She named one of her kids "Audio Science Clayton". I can imagine looking through the glass at the newborns and thinking, "You know, he really looks like an Audio Science Clayton, doesn't he?"

Heath Ledger clearly had a great career in front of him; we only saw glimpses of what he could achieve. And so, we are stuck in our world of Lindsay Lohans, Paris Hiltons, and Britney Spears while talented artists leave our realm. Not fair. You really never know.

The Online World, Forwards and Bad Advertising, Paparazzi Solutions

I have always hated forwards. Occasionally I'll check out some of the "Amazing Photo" forwards, but I feel that they're always cheapened by the likelihood that they are photoshopped. Like that shot of the huge great white clamping onto the rescue diver hanging from a helicopter's rope ladder- I would hate to be that guy, and I would hate for that to happen to anyone... but you can't argue that it would make an amazing picture- certainly worthy of a decent forward (if there is such a thing). This discussion of forwards is definitely old territory... from a time when e-mail was a "new", "fun" thing that people were starting to do... something "novel". Now, people only send forwards to frustrated co-workers, who then talk about how lame the sender is with all the other co-workers around the water cooler. And as you know, every respectable place of employment has a specific area carefully designated as "the water cooler". It's where everyone talks about everything you should know about.

The real reason I'm writing about forwards is that I wanted to indirectly get to bad advertising. Forwards are ads for products that aren't being sold, which certainly explains most normal peoples' natural aversion. It's trying to sell you a worthless nothing... they really just want to take up your time as you scroll through what must be yards and yards of digital nonsense that some bozo took hours to make... perfectly representing Buddha with "@" symbols and dashes.
Anyways....

Bad advertising. You see plenty of it on the sides of web pages where it bores into your subconscious. You want to play that game to win the IPod... whether it's to punch George Bush in the head, catch the baby, or smash the red tarantula. It's always tempting; you've had a day peppered with failure and you see this opportunity- "yeah... I could shoot that duck". You want to go for it, but you know that approximately 15 new windows are going to pop up and you won't even have the satisfaction of completing the game.

Bad advertising. "Learn the secret that no one wants you to know about ________." This secret could literally be about anything. People have had bad ideas since the beginning of time, and the internet now makes these bad ideas travel must faster. I shudder to think of the things doctors will be treating when our generation reaches retirement and beyond. "I learned this secret online that promised to make my __________ (bigger/ smaller) in 2-4 months! No one wanted me to know this!" When there are secrets, human nature drives us to seek the truth... to find out these mysterious things that THE MAN perpetually keeps from us. I guess that's technically good advertising, but it's still stupid.

I would like to conclude with some thoughts about the paparazzi. We continually see celebrities' personal lives shattering due to many pressures. There is clearly too much concern over image, and the lives they are forced to lead due to these pressures are twisted. With the additional weight of the monstrous paparazzi forcing them to run to their cars and be blinded 3 times over, it's no wonder they go loco. I don't need to describe the situation in any more detail- you know what I'm talking about.
As a correctional measure aimed at reducing the celebrity insanity trend, I suggest an open season on all paparazzi. If you are a legitimate celebrity, registered on lists A-F, and if you find yourself being bombarded by pesky folk with cameras, you should be able to go on the offensive. Maybe some stars could set up tree stands in LA... put a salt lick at the base of their tree and wait for the bloodthirsty photographers to gather. One by one, they could pick them off. Maybe we could then get rid of Entertainment Tonight. I hope everyone on that show hates themselves every day at work. Based on the pace of the show and its content, they clearly encourage the development of a nation consisting entirely of mindless (dare I say it)... zombies.

Forwards are stupid, internet advertising is a great idea with many bad examples, and the paparazzi are bloodthirsty monsters that are poisoning our culture and potential heroes.